It Takes Faith To Forgive
A conversation between Deandra Drake, guest; and Devaughn Williamson, host.
Life has a way of throwing curveballs, especially when you're trying to chase big dreams while also navigating the deep, messy waters of relationships, identity, and faith. Deandra’s story is one of those raw, powerful testimonies that shows how easy it is to lose sight of who you are and what you’re meant for when you get caught in the cycle of seeking love, validation, and belonging from all the wrong places. But it's also a story of how God’s grace works in the midst of brokenness, transforming pain into purpose.
Growing up, Deandra faced unimaginable hardships. From living in extreme poverty, with no running water and only a bucket for sanitation, to dealing with the absence of her father, her early years were shaped by a lack of stability and security. Her mom, a disabled single parent, did her best, but the odds were stacked against them. This kind of environment, while difficult, gave Deandra a front-row seat to God’s faithfulness. Even when it seemed like nothing would change, she held onto a glimmer of hope, believing that God had a purpose for her life.
Fast forward to college, and Deandra’s dreams of escaping poverty through education were derailed. She gave up a full scholarship to follow a guy—a guy who, as it turned out, wasn’t the right one. The relationship, built on codependency, became toxic and consumed her. She lost her reputation, her financial stability, and her sense of self-worth. Worse, she began to trade the dreams God had planted in her heart for a false sense of love and security. This was the real trap—the emotional and spiritual cost of looking for validation in the wrong places.
Her story is a painful but familiar one. Many of us have been there—whether it's staying in a relationship longer than we should, clinging to a dream or a person, hoping things will magically get better. For Deandra, this meant enduring betrayal after betrayal, even as she convinced herself that love would eventually heal all the wounds. But the deeper she went, the more she realized she was only hurting herself. She wasn’t just in a toxic relationship; she was holding onto it because, in some twisted way, it gave her a sense of control over her chaotic world.
It wasn’t until everything came crashing down—the betrayal, the heartbreak, the lost opportunities—that she had to face the hard truth: God’s plan for her was never meant to be traded for fleeting comfort. It took Deandra a while to see it, but the moment of clarity came when she realized she had been putting the wrong things—like her relationship, her need for approval, and her dreams of a perfect family—on the throne of her heart. The Holy Spirit had been trying to guide her out of the darkness for years, but she had been too afraid to let go.
The hardest part wasn’t just breaking away physically from the relationship, it was letting go emotionally. Forgiving someone who has hurt you is never easy, and it’s even harder when the person has shattered your hopes and dreams. But it was in that moment of choosing to forgive, of choosing to trust that God had something better for her, that Deandra experienced real freedom.
Forgiveness was the key that unlocked her path to healing. Unforgiveness, on the other hand, is like a slow poison. When we refuse to forgive, we hold ourselves hostage to the pain and the bitterness, keeping us from moving forward. It’s like carrying a backpack full of rocks on a long journey—you can’t make progress without first unloading it. And that’s what Deandra did: she chose to release the anger, the hurt, and the bitterness, not for the other person, but for herself. In forgiving, she broke free from the emotional chains that had kept her bound for so long.
And then, when she was finally able to surrender, God began to reveal His true purpose for her life—one far beyond the toxic relationship and all the broken dreams she had once clung to. The person who had hurt her, and the painful experiences of rejection, no longer defined her. Instead, she began to see herself as a woman redeemed, with a calling to impact others, to use her story to bring hope to those who feel lost or trapped in similar situations.
Some time after her healing journey, Deandra shared her story of walking through the loss of her mother, battling feelings of abandonment, and ultimately finding an unexpected kind of healing that has shaped her faith and her life. Her mother’s battle with cancer was a long and painful road, where the tension between praying for a miraculous healing and facing the reality that God’s plan was different, felt impossible to navigate.
As a believer, Deandra knew the Scriptures—God heals the sick, and believers have the power to lay hands and see miracles.
But when God didn’t answer her prayers in the way she expected, the journey turned into a struggle of faith. It wasn’t a past-tense experience, either; it was a present, ongoing struggle. She admits, even now, she’s still walking through it, sometimes wrestling with God, sometimes finding peace, and at other times feeling like a broken mess.
But in those painful moments, Deandra found that her healing wasn’t about what God did in her circumstances, but about who God was in her grief. She discovered that God's sovereignty wasn't just in the miracles; it was also in the times when the answer was "no"—when the plan was different than what she had imagined.
A crucial moment came when Deandra was praying in her heavenly language, feeling the weight of grief and abandonment on her heart.
She found herself crying out in pain, unsure of what to say to God. It was then that the Holy Spirit spoke to her, guiding her to pray a word she didn’t recognize at first—“Talitha, Cumi.” She wasn’t sure if it was a real word or if she was just making it up. But she trusted the process and the Holy Spirit, and as she prayed, she felt a wave of deliverance wash over her. It was messy, raw, and unsettling, but in that moment, she felt the release of fear, abandonment, and the heaviness of grief.
A few weeks later, Deandra heard a sermon about Mark 5:40, where Jesus tells a dead girl to "arise." The word "Talitha Cumi" that had come to her in prayer was the same word Jesus used to raise the girl from the dead. God had been speaking to her, telling her, in her grief, to “arise.” This wasn’t just a healing of the body—this was a healing of the soul. God was telling her that though her mother’s passing was painful, she was not to stay in the death of that moment. There was life ahead. There was purpose ahead.
Through her grief, Deandra’s faith grew. She realized that her salvation in Christ was her ultimate victory—not health, wealth, or even perfect circumstances. She learned to focus less on the transient things of this world and more on her relationship with Jesus. Her healing process wasn’t just about her mom’s passing—it was about her own heart finding peace in God's eternal plan.
Her story is a powerful reminder that no matter how messy, painful, or uncertain life gets, God is still sovereign, and He is still good. If you’re walking through grief or facing hard times, know that you are not alone. And know that God is working through the process to bring healing, restoration, and ultimate victory.
If Deandra’s story moved you, consider sharing it with someone who needs encouragement. And if you're able, partner with Faith Ignite to help bring more stories of hope to the world. Together, we can spread messages of God's faithfulness to those who need it most.
Devaughn Williamson President, Faith Ignite Inc
